nauesation

at almost one in the morning. no bueno. i realized this evening that asking for advice is sort of redundant. people can only tell you so much & their advice is usually based on their past experiences so how would anything anyone tells you be sufficient? it wouldn't. at least that's what i think tonight. i thought maybe my mom could give me a different perspective but i knew that some of things she said were just well, false & downright untrue. but like i said last night, most people are just trying to meet their own ends. even if it's subconcious. she was of little help but it was nice to just talk to someone else about something for a change. i'm so indecisive. and i think that's why i'm in the position i'm in now. i don't believe i'm mentally incapable of making a decision. i think there's a different issue. when i have to make decision i usually don't think before i decide. and if i do, i still feel unsure that the decision i made is the best choice. but i'm working on it. along with every other part of my life. i need to start trusting my intuition. it never fails.

by the way, that conversation we had about religion tonight was pretty fucking sweet. i want to talk about that more.

i need to make an appointment with my therapist.