why: number 3. & how i feel about apologizes.

"you look at love in the most uncomplicated way .. it's ill."
& it is.

on another note, sometimes an apology isn't enough. that's just how i feel. there's nothing anyone could say at this point to change my mind. the word of choice is apathy. i don't care either way. i don't want to fix anything & i sure as hell don't want to discuss anything anymore because that just makes me upset all over again. things change. all the time. every second of every fragile day. maybe i'm lazy. maybe i really don't care but there is a big part of me lately that has just wanted to be simple. no complications. & that sick, twisted thing? it was complicated. for a very long time now. i don't need it.

better yet, i don't want it.